Journal entry 8/30

Was this your plan all along God? Your plan to keep me home to experience blessings, while I still long for my best friend.? You are all I need. When I learn to depend on you, I see the blessings in disguise. I know that You are my all in all, but when trials come, I want to hide in my despair. Bring me out of darkness. Out of the pits of despair. May I wait with open eyes to your truths. I need to dive into your holy word and examine my life that I may be sanctified. I'm praying this renewal of staying home and facing the emptiness and hardship, that you'll bring the rain Father. I need the rain. I see a glimpse of it but do not know if it really is becoming true. I want to have hope and not on expectations of my own but in Your timing and will.